I whipped up a Fapnado this morning, and I’d call it a part of a healthy, balanced breakfast, along with my coffee, my Cap’n Crunch and my bowl full of boner pills. Hell, if you’re in a hurry, you can even enjoy it on the go like I did, though I did get some weird looks from the other Uber passengers. That’s just a day in the life of a friendly neighborhood PornDude, though. Some folks just don’t respect the grind!

I have a feeling the folks behind Fapnado.com wouldn’t have the same complaints, because I’m just enjoying the site exactly how they intended. Free pornography is the name of the game on this video tube, which goes a long way in explaining how they get three million visitors a month. You don’t pull that kind of traffic handing out bullshit. I was curious just what all those peverts were shaking their dicks at, so naturally, I had to lube up and try it out for myself.

Quick! Take Shelter! It’s a Fapnado!

As far as presentation goes, Fapnado is one of the sleeker looking free tubes I’ve seen lately. They’ve got a classy little logo, and the round corners on all those front-page thumbnails give the site a more modern vibe than the usual hard-edged blocks. Not a single ad slips through my spam blocker, nor do I see any unsightly empty spaces where the spam might be if my browser wasn’t wearing a condom. Contrast that to a joint like Pornhub, who have gotten really good at slipping ads through your defenses.

The thumbnails themselves are classic porno. Lately, most of the new tubes popping up seem to focus on OnlyFans content and social media sluts, but Fapnado’s front-page spread is mostly sourced from the big studios and paysites, plus a stray bit of taboo hentai near the top of the screen. It’s a lovely mix of professional pornographic content, so my dick started getting hard and drippy within moments of loading up the site.

Allow me to be more specific. The very first things I saw when the link slid into my DMs were teenage nymphos going wild in the back of a taxi, a MILF getting bathed by her stepson, and Abella Danger bouncing her ass on some lucky dude’s ding-dong. There are interracial scenes, facial cumshots, lesbians going down on each other, hardcore anal excitement, teachers gagging on enormous student cock, and even a wrinkly old gray-hair granny getting some action for the first time in a while.

Abella was the first chick I recognized, but the whole place is crawling with famous pornstars. I quickly spotted such big names as Whitney Wright, Adriana Chechik (get well soon), Casey Calvert and Emily Willis. I even saw a bunch of the girls I’ve smashed over on the PornDudeCasting couch, like Gia Derza, Lauren Phillips, Savannah Bond and Apryl Rein. Damn, I feel like I’m in great company!

Major Sluts from Major Studios

I’m not sure if you realize this, but you can’t really hire major pornstars if you’re just some dinky, hole-in-the-wall porno operation. Hell, before I started my own paysite, even I had a hard time meeting sluts like Natasha Nice, Eliza Ibarra and Gianna Dior, and I’m the world-famous PornDude! Nah, for the most part, these girls only work with established players in the game.

Which is exactly what you’ll find in the Fapnado.com archives. They’ve got videos from some of the biggest studios, producers and paysites. The dropdown menu of Sites in the header links to big-ass selections from spots like Brazzers, Bangbros, Pure Taboo and Girlfriends Films. The full list is a massive picture menu of sites like Blacked, Reality Kings, Family Strokes, MetArt and True Anal. Unless your favorites are obscure studios banging out deep-niche fetish content, you’ll probably find a lot of your usual fap fodder within.

Fapnado has a feature called Site Of The Week. This week, Brazzers holds the honor, so I clicked through to check out their pile of material from the brand. No fucking shit, they have nearly a thousand videos from Brazzers alone. Fapnado ain’t a piracy tube, so most of the scenes are samples clocking in at around eight minutes long. The average guy whacks off for ten to fifteen minutes before popping, so choose wisely.

I ain’t ashamed to admit I took an eight-minute break from writing this review. Well, I guess it was a few minutes more when you factor in the cleanup time and all the hours I hid behind a dumpster while the cops looked for me. I swear, you beat off to one Fapnado movie at the Starbucks counter and everybody acts like you’re fucking Jeffrey Dahmer.

The massive pile of Brazzers flicks got me curious. If they’ve got this many videos from just one paysite, how many fuck flicks are in the entire library? Sometimes tubes will list the full number of videos, because it’s an excellent bragging point, while other times I’ll have to dig to the bottom of the pile and crunch some numbers on my own. The layout at Fapnado.com makes it a lot harder to do this, so I couldn’t get a precise count.

I can say with confidence that Fapnado.com easily has tens of thousands of free porno videos. Honestly, it could easily be in the hundreds of thousands, but I’m just working with what I can see. Pull up any random site off their list and it all starts to add up fast. For example, they’ve got 400 movies from True Anal, 450 Pure Taboo flicks, 600 from Monsters Of Cock, 755 Reality Kings vids, over 800 Girlsway lesbian movies and 900 Girlfriend Films. That’s all just a drop in the bucket, too.

Man, It Just Don’t Stop

Pornography libraries of this size don’t just materialize out of thin air overnight. They take time to build. The Fapnado.com domain has been around since 2016, and while I don’t know if they’ve been active that entire time, they’ve definitely been active as hell lately. They’re adding dozens of new videos every day.

Everything on the first page of Fapnado’s Latest Releases, all 24 movies, was added to the site within the last five hours. I had to flip all the way through to page four to find anything added way back in the olden times of yesterday. This is the kind of site you can visit repeatedly throughout the day and beat off to something fresh every single time. In other words, it’s my kind of place!

Today’s been a good day for new videos. There’s a chubby chaser movie with a chunky redhead, an Asian hottie getting creampied, and a lesbian pillow fight that turns naughty in a hurry—and that’s all in just the top row. It’s a beautiful batch of fresh drops featuring babes like Yua Saiki, Joslyn James and Nadia White, humping their brains out in movies from brands like BangBros, BlackedRaw, Naughty America and Brazzers.

I decided to start my official fap test with that aforementioned pillow fight, which stars Eliza Ibarra, Emma Hix and Gabbie Carter. The clip opens with Emma and Eliza taking their shirts off, and then Gabbie dropping her skirt. They whack each other with pillows and giggle as the clothes keep coming off. A minute in, we flash forward to all three girls fully naked in bed. I’m not sure who technically won the pillow fight, but I think it might be the viewers. Frankly, I think it's time for me to wrap up this review so I can enjoy the pussy eating with both hands.

Fapnado.com is a winner in my book. They take a slightly different approach than the anything-goes tubes out there, choosing to focus on high-quality scenes from the biggest and best studios and paysites in the world. Instead of sifting through a mountain of low-quality amateur scenes and 14-second OnlyFans video, visitors will have their pick from thousands of HD movies starring the beautiful women who already live in your filthiest fap fantasies. What more could a masturbator ask for?