Porn offers us something no physical lady ever could. Perfection. Let me restate that. Porn offers you something you could never have without it. Perfection. Physically perfect sluts exist, but you won’t be partaking in their pussies anytime soon. Let me rephrase that. You won't be partaking in pussy, period.

If we are conversing about getting your dick wet, the more unattractive, the better. You must accept your state as a beta and stack the cards in your favor whenever possible. Fortunately, your brain is so full of smut that the back of your eyelids is like a trashy 80s porn theater. You can easily pretend you're fucking one of your favorite porn stars. All you need is a pussy attached to a living woman. It sure beats the fuck out of your microwaved cock sleeves. They make warmers for those, you know.

If you need to load up the spank bank with more fuckable 18+ teens before you bone a bitch that was beaten with the ugly stick, might I recommend Lola Mini, also known as Teen Lola? She has an incredible Only Fans page that will have your cock in your hand in no time. She has all the traits I look for in an ideal 18+ teen.

Why 18+ Teens Are the Best

There are many qualities an ideal whore must have to retain her title. Amazing mama milkers, a shapely ass, a gorgeous face, and a vice-grip pussy. Few women can live up to those standards, but the ones that do are 18+ teens. There is an explanation for why 18+ teen porn is always near the top of the porn genre rankings, regardless of trends and fads. A man's mind has been hard-wired to spill loads into 18+ teen pussy. It's fertile and ready to harvest your seed for metamorphosis into a child. Of course, the last thing you fucks want is to have a kid, but your genetics don't know that.

Lola Mini looks fertile enough to get pregnant if I stare at her too hard. Were I a eugenicist, this bitch would be locked up in my lab where I can harvest her eggs anytime I want.

Young 18+ bitches have silky skin and heavenly faces every man associates with a model or actress. Sluts lose that naive smile as the years keep coming. The world can be a dark place. Sadly, once the innocence is lost, you can no longer dirty it for them by nutting in a shot glass and forcing them to pour it in their gaping asshole. Or by throat fucking them until their esophagus bursts and they get strep throat. Or by double-fisting them with a pair of brass knuckles on your mitts. Nothing ruins a bitch's innocence like genital related hospital trip.

Best of Both Worlds

Lola Teen has innocence on her face but naughty in her eyes. This bitch can definitely destroy a penis, but she can also melt your heart. It's the perfect combo. It's not every day a woman can make my heart cum, but Lola does it.

Her most attractive facial feature is those dick-sucking lips. My god. I bet getting a blower from this bitch feels like fucking a fluffy white cloud. I bet she could make me cum so fast that it would be a bit embarrassing. Even the Porn Dude can suffer from the occasional premature ejaculation.

It’s not like aging makes pussy tighter. From age twenty-five, pussy is in a steady state of decline. If you only accept the tightest gashes in your life, you'll have to fuck 18+ teens.

When I get done fucking a pussy, you can bet it's permanently stretched out. Don't ever take my sloppy seconds. I age pussy ten years with each thrust. Fucking me is like having a baby and skipping the husband's stitch.

Prime Pussy

It doesn't take 20/20 vision to watch Lola fuck and recognize she has a top-notch vagina. If you look up "good pussy" in Webster's Dictionary, there is a picture of her.

I have to hand it to the stunt cocks that work with this bitch. It must take incredible self-control to not fill that cunt up to the gills with jizz in five thrusts. I bet you fucks wouldn't even make it two.

One of my favorite aspects of 18+ teens is that they probably haven’t had an orgasm during vaginal intercourse. It's actually difficult for many ladies to cum during plain old sex. Of course, I don't have that problem, but many men do.

If you introduce an 18+ teen to the penis-gasm, you won’t be able to pry her off your cock with a ten-foot crowbar. You will have an endless cache of tight young twat for as long as your pathetic little cock can handle it. Which is forever, of course. Or at least until she gets old enough that you have to find the next slut. However, don't forget that once you stretch her pink taco out, you can swap over to her anus, which will be even tighter than her pussy ever was.

I'm not going to lie to you. It would appear that Lola has no issues cumming on these stunt cocks. She's a sexual being. Lola knows what she wants and can easily get it. Unfortunately, you're not teaching this cunt shit. She'll be teaching you. Lola has a doctorate in making cocks spit jizz

Gag Factory

That brings me to 18+ teen blow jobs. They are a different creature entirely. Blow jobs are one of the few sexual activities that get better with age. Delivering a proper blowie isn't as easy as it looks. It takes a woman with experience, patience, and skill to provide a great one. That doesn’t mean an 18+ teen blow job isn’t the fucking shit, though. It’s just awesome in a different way.

It's the inexperience that makes an 18+ teen blowjob unique. It’s all unorganized and bumbling. You must teach her how to handle a penis with care and love. My favorite aspect of an 18+ teen blower is that you get to perform the surprise nut. A professional blow job expert can feel the orgasm welling inside a cock before the guy does.

18+ Teens don't have that kind of experience. You can shove your Jimmy Johnson down her Adam's apple and bling ropes down her neck that will have her gagging like she bit into a scotch bonnet pepper. You might even get her to throw up on your dick, which is simultaneously hot and disgusting.

Once again, Lola breaks the mold on this. She has all the talent required to make a man's legs shake, and eyes cross. I already mentioned how sexy her dick-sucking lips are. Even if the bitch had absolutely no idea how to blow cocks, it would still be incredible. Sometimes skill doesn't matter if you have the right tools for the job.

The reasons that fucking an 18+ teen is so fun are the exact reasons why watching them in porn is fucking awesome. Old cunts require Photoshop to reach the top of their game, but not 18+ teens. Not Lola. 18+ Teens come airbrushed by nature. It just doesn’t get better. Every inch of them is sexier than the last. It makes my cock feel like a young man again.

Free is My Favorite Flavor of Twat

As you all know, Only fans cost money. However, Lola offers a free subscription for my poor ass readers. But before you get too excited, her free subscription doesn't come with the good stuff. It's all softcore bull shit that, while sexy, doesn't go far enough. I need to see it all, baby.

Warning: It doesn't matter how poor you are. You'll have to buy some once you read descriptions of her hardcore porn. It's impossible not to. She's just too sexy. Your penis will convince you you're a millionaire if that's what it takes.

Lucky for you guys, unlike many Only Fans models, Lola does not overcharge for her content. The prices are reasonable, especially considering the quality of the content. You won't find shit this good growing off of trees. Only a woman of Lola's stature can cause so many boners.

Her erections-caused-per-minute stats must be through the fucking roof. As we speak, at least a thousand dudes are spilling seed on this cunt, and you can currently count me as one of those thousand.

She has it all, guys. Looks, allure, and skill. Once you pop her page open, you won't be able to stop. I hope your schedule is cleared out. You won't have much time for normal activities.

I struggle to find much to complain about on Lola's Only Fans page. I only wish that she gave free subscribers the occasional nipple slip. Poor motherfuckers want to see those tatas, also.

Alright, motherfuckers. I have to get out of here, so I go for round two with Lola Mini.